raidraptors | Ryslig

[ It's an hour or so before dawn when he'll hear her return, the weight of her feet and the click of her talons against the roof overhead. A shuddering exhale for a breath just too ragged. The heaviness of her footsteps, the sour mood she's had difficulty hiding still dragging her down.

Between that, and that she stays up there on the roof without even coming in for greeting, means that specter is still with her.

She's been avoiding everyone else as a result. ]

[It's been days since he's last seen her, since anyone has seen her from what he's noticed. Shun doesn't know who's come to haunt her – there definitely is someone, why else would she be avoiding everyone – but he figures it can't possibly be that bad. He's dealing with Kaito's haunting after all, bears it easier after talking with Yuya (even if it still seems unbelievable what he was told, even though he still doesn't know what to believe in now)… surely, talking will benefit Yuzu as well.

That's why he climbs up when he hears her land on their roof – one hour is more than enough to spare until dawn, until the sun forces her into stone and him towards sleep. He opens the door without warning, ready to start cornering her–]

You know, you can't keep avoid-

[Then he cuts himself of when his eyes fall on her specter, mouth suddenly dry and the rest of his rant dying in his throat.]

…Yuto.

[Whoever he'd expected to haunt Yuzu… this wasn't it.]

[ Her senses aren't as keen — or else she's too far in her own head to catch anything subtle outside herself. She doesn't hear Shun's climb or the door opening; when he speaks, she visibly starts, nearly jumping out of her scales.

Everything about her reaction screams this is bad—; her attention jolts from Shun to Yuto's phantom (he's wavering somewhere between human and the monstrous form he first took in this world, skin edging into frosty pallor) and back.

She doesn't recognize the guy stuck with Shun, but her gaze slips off them both like water, her arms crossing in defense. She wants to pair it with something biting, something to make him back off — but the heat of it blows out with a forced exhale, her shoulders loosening, arms sinking. ]

... can you blame me for trying?

[It takes a moment until he finds his words again, too shocked by the sudden appearance of his best friend to say anything, not until her words snap him out of his stupor.]

…I suppose not.

[Save Sawatari, Yuto is connected to all of them after all… Still, he can't help but wonder, voice the obvious question, no matter how personal this might be to her:]

…Why is Yuto haunting you?

[What is it that she regrets that is connected to Yuto of all the people?]

[ The rest of her remains still, but her tail flicks from side to side behind her knees — as always, a betrayer of her wavering thoughts. Yuzu ends up stepping backwards, falling to a sit on the raised ledge of the roof; her wings shift, drawing close to her back.

What is she supposed to say? Guilt hangs in her throat. She can't confess it to Shun, of all people...

Yuzu bites her lip, glancing back at Yuto. ]

There was... there was something we never resolved, him and I. That's a lot of it. But...

[Shun steps forward to sit down beside her, a silent and steady presence at her side, his arms crossing as he settles to listen. He doesn't know what it is that's plaguing her thoughts, but…]

Tell me.

[Whatever it is that she regrets so terribly that Yuto has come to remind her of it, it can't possibly be that bad. Shun is sure he's done much worse himself.]

[ Her arms uncross; her hands settle on the hard curves of her knees. She doesn't look at Yuto. She doesn't look at Shun. ]

There's something we talked about before. In Maiami City, before all of... this. Back when you guys were skulking around.

[ When things didn't make sense, but they made more sense than this world ever would. When Yuto spent half his time stalking her, while Shun was sealing people into cards... her toes tap the rooftop. ]

He didn't like to see me using Fusion. [ A pause; she scoffs. ] Obviously. But... back then, he told me my reason was good. I wanted to learn it so I could be stronger. So I could protect my friends, and the things that were important to me. He said it was okay to use it for something like that.

I had no idea what he was talking about then. I didn't even know there were other dimensions yet. But since then... it's stuck with me. If it's for the sake of my friends, then even doing something terrible is... not okay, but not bad.

... But we're a pretty long way from then.

[ Far away from Maiami, from Standard — from the four dimensions, where something as simple as summoning method made such a big deal. It feels like somebody else's life, for how different it is from the world Yuzu lives in now. ]

[He nods – of course Yuto wouldn't like her using Fusion, Shun hadn't – still doesn't – liked it either, but he agrees with what Yuto seems to have told her… if it's her using Fusion, if it's to protect the people and places that matter to her, yes.

Still. It's been months, over a year since they had navigated the shadows of Standard, since Yuto had told her those words… a long way, as she had said, and now Shun can only wonder…]

Why are you thinking of that now?

[What has she done that she considers 'terrible', that she clearly seems to regret and yet tries to justify to herself? What is it that he doesn't know?]

I...

[ What can she say? Nothing about Yuto. Nothing about the death he made her promise to keep secret, and how it was Yuzu alone that was left with a corpse whole enough to bury. Nothing about her own death. Nothing about the desperation to escape an existence that desired nothing more than to consume the lives of the people who loved her. Nothing about the truth of power she received in return — the suffering she inflicts on herself to help the others, the way it burns to be used.

Her tail swings like a metronome over the ledge of the roof. Yuto's crossed arms grow ashen, cracking along the lines of his bones, and falling to pieces in dust. ]

I've lost count. Of how many people I've killed.

[ She fiddles with her bracelet, folding the two bands into one ring, then back out into two. Her voice is quiet, and slow, and she stumbles over her words. She doesn't look up. ]

How many lives I've ended... how many families I've destroyed. How many people must be grieving for what I've done. And I know — I know I don't have a choice! That if I want to survive, if I want... to return to my own world, to protect the existence I love, I don't have any other choice. But... but when isn't that good enough? How am I supposed to know when, when my reasons aren't good enough? There has to be a limit, doesn't there? How can I be the one to decide which world has more value? Which people deserve to live? To die?

I don't... I can't see that boundary. I don't think I ever could. And it scares me.

Ryslig | IC Contact

TEN MILLION YEARS LATER AND NOT IN THE LOGS COMM

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, SHUN KUROSAKI. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 235.59.665.46 * XYZ-RAPTOR has joined 235.59.665.46 <XYZ-RAPTOR>** Keep it short.