those who live

[raidraptors]

[Good; any scolding would have been a waste of breath as far as Shun is concerned. He nods though, agreeing:]

Later then.

[This isn't a conversation he can escape, even if Yuto doesn't know the reasons for that… yet. Still… he isn't exactly unhappy with having more time to figure out it how to break it, the death of their comrades (the certainty that they could have done something if only he hadn't left for Standard, if only Yuto hadn't followed) a heavy weight in his stomach.

He ignores the offer for support when he pushes off the door frame – sure he's tired and unwell, but he's got a point to make (it's not that bad, he's had worse, he'll be fine) – then makes his way towards their room, maybe not quite as quick as he'd move usually, but fairly steadily.

(Something is off about Yuto's appearance, something is missing… but right now that just might be because Yuto has only just gotten up; it's just about sunset after all.)]


Continued from here!

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[raidraptors]

[He lets go of his kerchief when Yuto arrives, his frown deepening as he turns to his best friend and fixates him with wary eyes. Now that he's figured the missing element, the lack of it is all the more apparent; so is the fact that Yuto doesn't even recognize anything as wrong.]

…You tell me.

[Really… does Yuto think he can hide this loss for long, that Shun wouldn't figure anything off if he acts as though nothing has happened?]

[darkduelist]

[Yuto on the other hand is completely confused.

He shakes his head and frowns.]

And what do you mean by that?

[He's looking his friend in the eye. He has no idea what Shun is talking about.]

What am I supposed to tell you?

[raidraptors]

[Shun just shoots him a look – is Yuto for real? Does he really think Shun won't call him on this, especially now?]

…Where is your scarf?

[(Let this just be his damn paranoia.)]

[darkduelist]

Scarf?

[And Yuto blinks, feeling lost.]

...What scarf?

[He begins to worry. He died not too long ago, and people lose their memories when they die here. Now Yuto realizes he must had forgotten something very important, because he can't think of a reason as to why Shun would be so bothered about some missing scarf. He can't even remember if he had any scarves to begin with.

And now Shun... Shun will find out that he had died again.

Unable to do anything else, Yuto looks at his best friends and waits for him to say something.]

1/2

[raidraptors]

[For a moment Shun just stares at him, shock written all over his face. For all that he had dreaded that something had happened, he hadn't quite thought–]

[raidraptors]

[Then the switch flips and realization of what this means follows – for a memory to be missing, for this memory to be missing–

Shock is instantly replaced by furious anger as Shun surges forward to grab Yuto by his shirt and drag him up as he hisses.]

You idiot! Do you even care about what happens to you?

[darkduelist]

[That was exactly what Yuto expected to happen. He attempts to take a step back, but Shun is quicker. When he grabs him but the shirt, Yuto glares at him.]

Let go. [He says that through gritted teeth, but he quickly averts his gaze.]

...Do you really think I don't care? [He grips Shun's hand, to pry it away from his shirt as he again looks at his best friend.] Do you really think I wanted that to happen?

[He didn't... He never wanted to die. Why can't Shun understand that?]

[raidraptors]

[Shun is unimpressed by the glare, by those words – how many times did they have this talk so far, how often does he have to tell Yuto to take care of himself to make it stick?]

You sure as hell act like it!

[They all know what happens when they die, that the Fog God demands their memories as payment for resurrection – how many has it been in Yuto's case, how much has he paid to come back?]

Do you even remember our comrades?

[darkduelist]

Of course I remember them.

[Yuto hisses, trying to free himself from Shun's grasp.]

And I don't... I never wanted to die. [He grits his teeth, he grips Shun tightly by the wrists. He isn't looking at his friend anymore.

He knows he's failed.

And it wasn't only once.]

[raidraptors]

[Shun just tightens his grip, nails and bones starting to push into length; he's so angry–]

Saying that now isn't good enou–

[He cuts himself off with a wheezing breath, his grip finally slipping as he nearly doubles over – his anger had jumped started the change and sunset seals the deal, and while Shun wouldn't be all that affected usually, not anymore, there is silver in his system and it hurts.]

[darkduelist]

[Yuto can see just how angry Shun is - he hasn't expected anything else and that was precisely why he wanted to hide this from his best friend. But before Yuto manages to respond with another glare, Shun lets go of him, clearly in pain.]

Shun!

[For a moment all Yuto can think of is too catch the other, support him so he wouldn't fall.]

[raidraptors]

[The attempt to hide it really only makes it worse. Or would anyway, if Shun's awareness wasn't narrowed down to stinging pain that feels as though he's getting stabbed over and over again. When the throb ebbs enough for proper thought again, he's leaning halfway on Yuto, his breath shaking as he starts to find his own footing again.

Yuto is a warm comforting presence against him, and finally grief breaks through, with one quiet whisper of a hard, heavy truth.]

…They are all dead.

[All of their comrades in Spade… he remembers standing in their old classroom, broken walls and duel disks and not a soul beside his own. ]

[darkduelist]

[Yuto is about to tell Shun that he needs to lie down, but that thought is lost when Shun says that one sentence. Yuto blinks, feeling dread taking over his heart.]

Who are you talking about?

[Who is dead? And why is Shun saying this only now?]

[raidraptors]

[Shun swallows heavily, a strangled note in his voice – he hasn't known for long himself and this isn't quite how he meant to tell Yuto. Then again he hadn't known how to tell him anyway, so maybe this is for the best.]

Our comrades of Spade District. I remembered it while I was in Vandare… I got thrown back home from Synchro. That's how I found out… after we went to Standard, they were all annihilated.

[darkduelist]

[Their comrades from Spade...? Yuto's eyes widen and he takes a deep breath, hoping that he didn't hear right.]

But that... it can't be...

[Yuto bites his lower lip. Their comrades are all gone. His heart hurts as this one sentence echoes through his mind. Then regret appears alongside the pain. If he only hadn't followed Shun to Standard... maybe, maybe he would've saved someone. Maybe...!]

...And the other districts?

[raidraptors]

[Grief comes easier here than it had back in Heartland – in his memory the realization had been sobering, but not paralyzing because it couldn't be. Not while the enemy that was responsible is so close.

Shun drags up his hand to drop it on Yuto's shoulder, a tiny gesture of comfort while they are so close, while they are both mourning their comrades.]

I don't know. The last I remember is deciding to check up on Clover.

[On Allen and Sayaka, on Kaito… surely at least Kaito must have survived. He's a tough bastard after all.]

[darkduelist]

[In here they are so far away from everything. They can't fight Academia, can't check on the rest of survivors. They can't do anything.

Frustration and regret wash over Yuto, his hands clench into fists. But Shun's hand on his shoulder somehow brings him back from his dark thoughts. And even thought it brings only a little bit of comfort, Yuto is grateful for it. His hand uncurls and he reaches up to touch Shun's.]

Kaito wouldn't have lost. I'm sure of it.

[And as long as Kaito is there not everything is lost. Even though it hurts, they can't lose hope.

Yuto is silent for a moment.]

Shun, you need to rest. We'll... talk more later. [Every word is spoken slowly and somewhat quieter than earlier.

Yuto squeezes his best friend's hand lightly.]

[raidraptors]

[They can't do anything – not to help Resistance, not to help Ruri – and sometimes, when Shun thinks too much about it, it feels as though despair might take the whole of him.

Having Yuto close helps at least; having his support means more than Shun can put into words. He hadn't known to appreciate it back in Standard, not until Yuto had suddenly disappeared.

(I'm glad you are here, he's said once months ago and he'd meant it. He still does.)

As for Kaito…]

Yea. He's too stubborn to be killed easily.

[He better be, or Shun will find him in the damn afterlife and kick his ass.

Shun exhales slowly, testing himself before he pulls himself off Yuto fully – he'll give in and try to sleep off at very least exhaustion, but before that he needs to make one thing utterly clear:]

You aren't off the hook.

[He hasn't forgotten about Yuto dying, is still angry about it and they will talk about that. But not now.]

[darkduelist]

[Yuto looks at Shun for a moment, then he nods.]

I know. [He knows that his best friend hasn't forgotten.]

I promise we'll talk later. Now lie down and get some rest.

[Shun can get as angry at him as he wants. Later, that is.

Besides, Yuto is not planning to go anywhere. He won't try to run away from talking to Shun, no matter how much he'd want to.]

[raidraptors]

[Shun sighs and finally relents, shrugging out of his vest before he lies down and curls up under his side of the blankets, careful not to strain the half-healed wound at his left side too much as he makes himself comfortable.]

[darkduelist]

[Yuto is still there, watching his best friend for a moment longer. Then he sits down somewhere on the other part of the room, thinking of their comrades from Spade, thinking about Kaito, Allen and Sayaka, thinking about the enemies he and Shun can't fight right now.

Between getting lost in his own thoughts, he looks at Shun once more and finds himself wishing that he would never leave his friend's side ever again.

He doesn't want to die again, he doesn't want to make Shun sad or angry, he doesn't want to forget.

But what can he do to become stronger?]

[raidraptors]

[Shun does his best not to fidget where he's laying – he is exhausted, but werebears are their most active after sunset and right now that's working against him. Of course, the feeling of Yuto's eyes in his neck doesn't really help either.

Finally he carefully turns to face his friend. It doesn't take much to figure at least part of what's on his mind.]

…We'll avenge them.

[Once they get out of here.]

[darkduelist]

[Yuto doesn't say anything but after a long moment of silence he finally nods and says in a firm tone:]

Of course we will.

[But his eyes are somewhat sad, the pain he feels deep down inside is showing in them.]

Rest now, Shun. [He closes his eyes.] I'll be here if you need anything.

[raidraptors]

[A faint snort, before Shun closes his eyes again, tension mostly draining away with a quiet sigh. It takes a while until dreams take him, but eventually he falls asleep.]